Plan B is the new Plan A
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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