two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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