Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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