I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
