Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
