We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
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