it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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