so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
