just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
