I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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