Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I am puke
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
