ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
