We're like a lot better than the average bears
how can u be prego again
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
are you so shy because you have an std?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
