you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
