I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
