Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
