My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
