FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
