He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
