Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
