There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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