i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
