Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
