i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
