Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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