you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
