Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
