I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
