Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
