the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
