i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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