Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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