what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
