I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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