I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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