im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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