Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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