You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
