We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
