Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
