i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
