I love black thongs
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
