My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
