you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
