we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
