Dual....:-)
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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