She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
