He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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