Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
this boner is exhausting
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
