We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
